Fading Away: A Beautiful Painting by Joylene Lobo
Artist: Joylene Lobo, Bondel, Mangalore
Fade Away from Toxic Friends
In this journey called life, You will not only meet good friends who are always there to support you, encourage you and want the best for you in your life. But also toxic ones along the way who only perceive you as an opportunity for their own personal gain. These friendships will affect you physically mentally and emotionally. So how do we differentiate between a real friend and a toxic friend? Here are four differences between good friends and toxic friends.
1) Good friends protect you when you’re vulnerable:
A Good friend will take care of you when you need to be cared for and supported. Do you have a friend who protects you when you’re at your lowest point in life? Or listens to you with empathy and provides emotional safety and reassurance when you went through a bad day?
Good friends are typically good listeners. They wouldn’t mind listening to you vent for hours and genuinely care about your well-being. Because they genuinely miss you and love your presence around them.
Toxic friends only take, demand a lot and give little back. On the other hand toxic friends look out for only themselves and measure their friendships by what they can gain from you. Do you know anyone who’s always calculating when it comes to helping you out even when you’ve helped them many times?
Whenever they help you out, they always expect something in return. They might even guilt trip you when you’re unable to help them. Truth is the decisions and actions of a toxic friend are mostly made based on fear and ego.
2) Good friends are trustworthy and accept you for who you are:
Good friends are true from the bottom of their hearts. They’ll share their secrets while protecting yours. Do you have a friend who confides in you because they trust you and you would do the same for them? When you’re in pain physically, mentally or emotionally. They won’t back away During times when you isolate yourself to a harmful degree they make sure you’re okay and they’re there for you.
They’re the kind friends that are easygoing as they’re not judgmental of who you are. You don’t have to hide your truth because they accept you for who you are.
Toxic friends give praises to your face and stab you in the back. These people are known as two-faced friends. They can say nice things right in front of you. But behind you it’s a whole different story that could blow your mind. They have a habit of gossiping behind your back without your knowledge.
Everything they say to you is sugar-coated. They’re dishonest and only say things that you want to hear. This becomes a problem because they won’t stop you from making regretful decisions, even when they’re aware of the consequences. Toxic friends often have a weak morale. For example, even when things go wrong. They show you NOT to take ownership of your wrong doings.
3) Good friends are mature and responsible:
Good friends guide you on the right path. They listen earnestly to you and try to understand where you’re coming from the conversations you have with them can be real deep. To find out whether someone is a good friend ask yourself, do they often respond? When you talk to them about your problems? Are they patient and empathetic or are they bored and indifferent?
Toxic friends are reckless and immature. These friends recklessly involve you in situations that make you uncomfortable and regret later on. Such as getting drunk in an unsafe environment or putting you in situations where you need to always lie to others sound familiar.
If so, how do you plan to get out of this situation? It’s good to be aware and recognize the signs as early as possible. If not, you’ll have an even harder time trying to get out of this loophole.
4) Good friends are compassionate with you and others
They’re understanding and caring, for example when you are stressed or struggling to cope with your mental health. They become supportive and follow your pace of getting better. This type of friend are rare to find because usually, everyone else rushes you to recover as soon as possible.
When sharing your success and happiness they congratulate and celebrate with you when you’re grieving about a loss. They’ll be there for you. Good friends do only defend your name when you’re not around but also encourage others of your good qualities.
Toxic friends give you false hope and impressions. They talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk. In other words. They often make promises. They can’t keep them. Have you ever met someone who always boasts about their past good deeds or achievements? if yes, Don’t take her for granted even if they add in between apologies.
To spot a toxic friend like this try asking for a similar favor or a Promise they made in the past and see how they respond, do they back out on you by giving excuses? Or do they follow through with what they initially preached?
Do any of these points mentioned above remind you of anyone? Do you have more good friends or toxic friends in your life, or do you identify with being a good friend or a toxic friend?
Remember, no one is perfect. What matters is we learn and we become a better version of ourselves. If you have a friend who is affecting your life in a negative way.
What do you plan to do next? Let us know in the comments below.
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