‘Say NO to Rape’ Painting by Joylene Lobo
Artist: Joylene Lobo, Bondel, Mangalore
Hey everybody. A little while ago I got a letter from one of you wonderful readers whom I cherish. I wasn’t able to stop thinking about it. That to me says well let’s talk about it. I’m not going to post any direct excerpts from that letter sent to me because I want to protect and respect that person’s anonymity and privacy and also respect and protect the trust given to me by virtue of them sharing it with me.
In a nutshell what happened to this person and I have a feeling has happened to a lot of other persons was a situation involving someone this person knew, mix alcohol and drugs, sex consensual up until a point and then it is not anymore. This person put up resistance not in the form of directly saying no but trying to communicate in other kinds of body language and it continued.
The next morning this person woke up with a hazy idea of what had happened but a very clear feeling and gut instinct that something has gone wrong, that something had been violated. This person has carried this around for years. A lot of times I think there is this question going on and on and on in the brain of well was it, was it really rape? Can I call it sexual assault? Does that make my friend rapist?
We compartmentalize it as small as we can and we put it away, not only because of the implications of what that means for us but also the implications of what that means for the other person. When it comes to that question of was it rape, I can tell you what the legal definitions of rape and sexual assault are. I can also tell you that those legal definitions will change in the country depending on what state you’re in.
But to hopefully add a little more nuance to those definitions and stats and facts, I do want to offer things that don’t disqualify double negative alert, people or situations from being rape or sexual assault. When it comes to the question of was it rape, the answer may be yes even if you know the person. Even if you were both drunk and/or otherwise intoxicated. Even if you never said no. Even if it started off consensual. Even if you felt personally guilty afterwards. Even if you never contacted the police.
Even if you’ve never been able to bring yourself to call it rape or sexual assault because it just feels too ugly or too traumatic or too hurtful. Even if something happened and you aren’t entirely sure what it was but you have that gut feeling that it was not right, that a violation occurred, trust that instinct.
It doesn’t matter if it happened 20 minutes ago or 20 years ago there is no statute of limitations for personal healing that can take place by first reaching out to those resources available, whether it’s someone with your school’s counseling center or reaching out to a local rape crisis center or calling a rape crisis hotline, having someone you can talk to to finally answer that question that goes on and on and on and on in your brain of was it rape? Was it rape?
Am I just making all of this up? From there,speaking of legalities, who can help you to decide if and whether that is a path that you want to pursue and that my friends, in terms of reporting things to the police and pursuing that, that is up to you. I simply want to encourage you to take advantage of the resources that are available and that you need to do it. What I’m most concerned about, right now where I’m sitting, is you.
And the people that I hear from who carry these questions around in their brain for years and even carrying it around an hour a day is too long. If the main thing that’s holding you back is fear that someone won’t believe you, here’s one person. I believe you. I also want to note too that everything that I’m saying can also be applied to someone who might wake up and wonder if they just perpetrated rape or sexual assault.
This is not a one-sided conversation. There are lots of articles posted on internet if you want to learn more and also find more information on locating your local rape crisis center. Friends who know of international rape crisis hotlines and centers and great websites for that, please post in the comments below. All this week on the show I am going to be talking about sexual assault types of issues because April is sexual assault awareness month. And I also want to hear from you. Any Experience or insight that you are willing to share please, please, please, post them in the comments below and as always ask me your questions so I can give you some answers.
Inspired by many Inspired by much Inspired by much Written by me, life is a gift … it is something that gives a life to live where we create meaning. How many high schools do we drop out of? 14 high schools? “Audience Laugh” obviously you were bored or you were a lousy student or you just weren’t. Your mind where else! Dreamer! And I think a lot of people suffer from that.
You know you are going to school and you know what you want to do with your life, you have an overactive imagination and you are not really interested in building a bridge to learn SMS geometry or learn to divide an atom or whatever so they tend to be out of sync with what they’re being taught, so they look out the window and say if I could climb that tree and crush my arms and crush myself, I’m listening.
“Patter” on the back of the head and exit, so it’s just repetitive. We are getting better at writing articles first. I want to start with the most reasonable explanation of the meaning of life that I find. a lot of meaning in dating, quotes like these. Quote 1. Life is meaningless, you give it meaning, the meaning of life is whatever you attribute to it being alive is meaning Life is meaningless, being alive is meaning …
Humans are designed a special way with a big brain because we also have hands and fingers to be able to build things, I think, for us to become like this, you know that every evolution happens for a reason and then you have humans getting as smart as what could be an overly related problem with … live together like so many, but it’s only because we were all born in so many different countries, different with different rules or different possibilities.
Before, when they were dinosaurs, they couldn’t escape what it was like to come for them the meteorite. So I think that’s why the next species, like humans, got so smart, so we can. You know? Build things and think about how we can escape something like that, that would destroy us. That destroyed those animals that were alive at the time.
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